And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and]wept in anguish. Then she made a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head.” 1 Sam. 1:11
Truly, the Lord has to be the love of your life, above ANY & EVERYTHING in order to survive brokenness. There are things that can transpire in your life that will drain the very life out of you and some of those things are a slow death because they chip at you a little at a time. Before you know it, you are trying to pick up the pieces to get your life back or what's left of it.
The beauty of that is the person and life that you once had, has transformed into a version of you that only a dark trial could produce. Like when pictures had to be developed in a dark room in order to see what was captured. If you exposed them to the light too soon, it would not come out clearly and they would be ruined. Or even so, how you can keep making beautiful pictures out of the "negatives" available. The irony in that is, it's often the pain and the most traumatic things that will only produce the beauty that is created in the dark places of our lives. If you're like me, I hate that because some pains seem hard to bear, but God's Word says in 1 Cor. 1:8 "He will keep you strong to the end so that you will be free from all blame on the day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns."
Marriage is often a pain point, it's been my place of breaking, a Gethsemane experience in my life. Where you ask God if there be any other way to produce His Glory & vision in the Earth...take this cup from me. You see God knows what will produce the greatest glory and light in our lives. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, the scripture says his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death (Mark 14:34). You may be going through your own place of Gethsemane and it's causing great pain physically, emotionally and even mentally. The pressure of this pain may seem so confusing and unnecessary but know that God does not waste anything. Your breaking place has purpose. In the darkest moments of your life, is where God births the greatest victories.
Jesus response to the pain was ".....nevertheless, not my will Lord but let thy will be done." Mark 14:36
And Hannah prayed and said: “My heart rejoices in the Lord; my strength is exalted in the Lord. ... “Talk no more so very proudly; let no arrogance come from your mouth, for the Lord is the God of knowledge; and by Him actions are weighed.
Hannah teaches us that we can honestly express our desires to God. Speaking out our desires, our pain, our frustrations and stresses can give us comfort, hope and peace in our sorrow and pain. Hannah trusted God to work out the details of her life, and so can we.
Isaiah 61:2-3 ....to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
Matthew 5:3 - Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Jeremiah 17:14 - God, pick up the pieces. Put me back together again. You are my praise!
Father, I thank you for being God and you are trustworthy with every part of my life. This time in my life is tough and seems unbearable to withstand, but you are my strength. You are my refuge and my safe place. When my heart is overwhelmed, your Spirit leads me to the Rock that is higher than I. You are my Rock! Strong enough to carry the weight of my issues. Help me to see your grace in all of this. Help me to not rush the process but allow it to create in me a clean heart, to draw me closer to you and birth out purpose that will bring salvation to those you've assigned to my life. Thank you for loving me. In Jesus Name. Amen.
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