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Disguised Abuse

My last blog post, I covered the statistics of abuse and they are outstanding numbers. It appears that abuse is an epidemic that is often hidden in the walls of homes. And as outstanding of numbers that are for physical abuse, there are other types of abuse that data doesn't always capture because you can't get arrested for it, it shows no visible marks, you can't get a restraining order for it and it is not often discussed. For some, it may seem relative depending on what a person is conditioned to receive due to how they were raised.

But abuse is abuse! And all abuse displeases God.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers (Mothers), do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Galatians 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Colossians 3:21 Fathers (Mothers), do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Proverbs 22:10 Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.

Psalm 11:5 The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.

Proverbs 10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

What are examples of "disguised abuses?"

  • Narcissistic abuse

  • Verbal abuse

  • Emotional abuse

  • Psychological/Mental abuse

  • Spiritual abuse

NARCISSISTIC ABUSE is becoming a more commonly discussed abuse lately. I believe it is because God is shining the light on this unrecognized abuse and allowing this behavior to be exposed to stop the ongoing torment that people are experiencing in homes that's been hidden for years. It is an abuse that ranges from ignoring your feelings to violent aggressions. It is an abuse that can become a diagnosed disorder in people. This abuse is the disguise of all disguised abuses because the person who is the abuser appears to others as charming, generous and best all around personality. But to their home, their authentic personality shows forth and it's the opposite of what the "world" sees.

VERBAL ABUSE is one of those "relative" types of abuses. What I mean by that is there are some people that may feel like some verbal words and tones are not harmful because it's been normalized their entire life. Such has cursing in the home, condemning and putting down someone constantly, sarcasms or always making someone the butt of their jokes. However, verbal abuse is to demean, frighten, and control a person by the use of words.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE goes hand in hand with verbal abuse because most emotional abuses involves the use of the mouth that enters the mind and affects the emotions. This abuse will kill the spirit of a person and sometimes their will to live. It's an extreme form of rejection; rejecting your ideas, thoughts and feelings. It is a feeling of humiliation, shame and blame.

PSYCHOLOGICAL/MENTAL ABUSE is an intentional act of non-physical abuse to manipulate, control, hurt, intimidate, harassments, to frighten, weaken and isolate. This is one of the most evil forms of abuse to the mind. It seeks to trick the brain and cause confusion in order to repeat itself over and over again until you are ultimately destroyed.

SPIRITUAL ABUSE is a sneaky form of abuse because it comes under the guise of religion. Oftentimes people are easily abused in this form because scripture is used (out of context) to justify the behavior or action of the said abuser. It incites guilt and shame. It is a distorted use of respect and honor. It is used to manipulate and control to receive high honor, allegiance and money in the name of God. It can distort God's love and defame the true name of Jesus Christ to be this unfair, unrighteous and ungracious God.

In the next blogs, I will break down each of these abuses. I want to encourage those that are reading this, if you are experiencing any of these abuses, know that God is not turning a blind eye to this. He is fighting for you. It is through His shed blood on the Cross that He has set you free from this type of bondage. Please seek help from a therapist, recovery groups, support from a friend or family member and through Jesus Christ. Even if you are not a believer, find spiritual support to help guide you to healing, peace and freedom from the bondage of abuse. I'm praying for you!

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